The Nature of Man
The nature of a man is found only in nature itself.
We all know how important it is to spend time outdoors with overflowing positive benefits from lowered stress levels, mental clarity, and physical vitality. And while we should all be undoubtedly spending regular time there, it’s especially important for men for three specific and unique reasons.
These three pillars are essential for masculine fulfillment and can actually be the difference between life and death. While you may think that’s dramatic, the continual rising rates of male depression, anxiety, and suicide in all of the western world will hopefully beg you to think again.
WHAT DO MEN NEED?
Men or people that identify as core masculine (~80% of straight men and ~50% of not straight men) must experience the following three things in order to thrive in life:
Danger
Wildness
Freedom
You may be thinking isn’t danger bad? What does wildness have to do with happiness? And aren’t men already free? The truth is that most modern-day men are caged into an idea of who they should be, haven’t taken a risk in decades, and don’t have a clue what wildness means at all.
These three elements are the DNA of masculinity and should be celebrated because to deny the nature of something in the light is to ensure it comes out in the dark. We know what that looks like - addictions, violence, and especially self-harm.
When men don’t embody these elements they become passive or angry, meaning they are either apathetic pushovers or dominating tyrants. Sound familiar? We’ve experienced plenty of dominating men in our collective cultural past and in an attempt to balance the scales we have been trying to make “nice men” by pushing them into passiveness.
But it doesn’t work. It hasn’t worked, and it will never work.
Studies show us that within the last few decades the anxiety, depression, addiction to painkillers, and suicide rates among men have risen. Why? It’s because we’ve made masculinity wrong in our culture instead of embracing it.
Let’s put it like this, denying the masculine need for danger, wildness, and freedom is like denying the feminine need for connection, love, and affection. Denying the nature of a man results in the darkness we see. We need more masculinity, not less and for men the one thing that can help is the wild. And often.
WHY DANGER?
“The mountain is where I am isolated, vulnerable, in danger, yet completely and utterly thrilled.” - Maurice Herzog
The legendary Alpinist Maurice Herzog says that the “planned, organized, and pre-digested “Happiness” of the modern world is just not enough. “It leaves certain sides of a man’s nature unsatisfied.”
A man’s nature craves danger because danger is the only thing that will reveal what a man is capable of, what he’s made of. His ability to overcome danger translates to his capacity to save a life, overcome an obstacle, and take necessary action at a moment’s notice.
Overcoming obstacles is fundamental to masculinity and nature is the ultimate playground for this.
It’s the force that’s greater than man with beautiful vistas sometimes and grizzly bears and death-defying cliffs other times. It’s the place where masculinity is learned and harnessed so it can be used in other aspects of life from cultivating relationships, building businesses, to making a difference in the world. It’s where confidence, decisiveness, and courage is built.
A dangerous man is not a harmful one, a harmless man is a dangerous one, because he’s useless. A capable man is a dangerous man that is sharply tuned into his senses and can handle what life throws at him. Dangerous men are built outdoors and we need more dangerous men.
WHY WILDNESS?
“True wildness is a love of nature, a delight in silence, a voice free to say spontaneous things, and an exuberant curiosity in the face of the unknown.” - Robert Bly
A man being able to tap into his wild nature is the connection he has to the feminine within himself that he’s rejected for so long. It’s the place within him that speaks to him, also known as intuition, inner voice, or gut feeling. That feeling when “something’s missing,” or “go there,” or “this and not that.”
Wildness means being spontaneous, bold, and open to the unknown. It means abandoning reason or logic because you have a feeling. These are feminine elements that are dying to come alive within every man, and it’s the reason why men are innately attracted to all things feminine.
This includes women, of course, but also nature.
The wilderness is the greatest force of feminine energy, she is mother earth.
She is overflowing with exuberance, light, depth, and expansiveness. She tests, guides, teaches, and loves deeply. While we’ve pushed away the feminine for centuries, it’s actually been a silent refuge for men since the dawn of time. Perhaps unknowingly, the male desire to camp, fish, hike, and climb is actually a deep need for feminine energy masked by “manly-ness.”
When a man is tuned into his own wildness out in nature, he can begin to get in touch with the core needs and desires of his heart. Society has taught men not to feel, but how can you know what you want if you don’t let yourself feel? The most masculine embodiment is when a man is sure of who he is and where he’s headed. We’ve taught men to be rational and logical only, but what good is that is your on the wrong path?
WHY FREEDOM?
“And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” John Muir
Men consistently crave the feeling of freedom. This can be translated to a sense of spaciousness or being untethered. While a man’s need for space is often taken as a bad thing, it’s actually just in his DNA (the same way a woman wants closeness).
The feeling of freedom can come in small doses by completing tasks, fixing things, or starting successful businesses. It’s the same feeling a man has after ejaculation, that feeling of ‘ahhh.’ While blissful for a moment, it doesn’t last and maintaining it is the constant mission. Many times after achieving everything society told him to (high-paying job, supportive spouse, beautiful house, and great kids) it can still feel like something is missing.
So he tried to find freedom by pulling back from his lover, becoming emotionally unavailable, and binging on whatever feels good at the moment. He thinks his commitments are what’s causing him tension, but really it’s the intuitive knowing that he’s not living up to his potential.
The question then becomes what is he going to do about it? Will he go out in the wild and listen or will he pretend everything is fine and numb the voice? This is the pivotal moment when men and women alike reject the masculine need for space. People don’t realize that creating space here is the path to finding freedom.
This is the moment he needs to go to nature and not to netflix.
Freedom is found when a man can get out into nature, sit in silence, and accept that ‘ok, something’s missing. what is it?” The wilderness will answer and that will be the first breadcrumb of truth. The adventure of a lifetime. The adventure that leads a man to actual freedom by understanding what’s been buried in his heart all along.
Women must get this and help create space for it.
TO SUMMARIZE
Danger is not harmful, it’s capability
Wildness is not savagery, it’s intuition
Freedom is not selfishness, it’s identity
We’ve accepted that the feminine need for connection, love, and attention are important, but until we create allow space for the masculine needs of danger, wildness, and freedom - we’ll be stuck in limbo between angry and passive men.