Why She Needs The Dark
“She had a passionate longing for the garden, the darkness, the pure sky, the stars.” - Anton Chekhov, After The Theater.
The feminine’s power lies in the darkness, but our 24/7 bright and blue lights run our lives.
Indigenous Wisdom
One of my mentors told me a story she heard from an elder woman she met. She shared that in her tribe, during the first few days of her menstrual cycle, a woman would stay in her quarters and rest in complete darkness. Many ancient cultures had a designated ‘Red Tent’ within their community where women would go each month when it was time. They would support each other’s rest, ask questions to provoke deep thought, brush each other’s hair, and be in sisterhood.
After those few days, the town elders/decision makers would visit the woman to hear of any discoveries or awarenesses she had that could help the community - and she always did. The power of female intuition has always been known, and in indigenous cultures they did everything they could to honor and support it.
What’s happening with the feminine?
The feminine is the power source for most women. The feminine is associated with yin energy (yin/yang) which is empowered by rest, darkness, and the moon. Unfortunately in the west, all those qualities are seen as weak and therefore the feminine has been denigrated and dismissed. The focus in the west is on living a hyper-masculine life powered by the sun, which means daytime, work, and action. This denial of the feminine that began centuries ago has brought us a lot of dysfunction. Fast forward to today - we’re so hyper-masculine, that women themselves deny their own femininity by ignoring their need for calm, rest, and quiet because they are trying to compete with men. In order to prove themselves to the world, many women are trying to find their power from the sun, but it’s not working…
Women are tired and agitated and men are depressed and confused as to who they should be - and everyone is just blaming each other. I see women turning away from their natural connection to the moon(yin), while men are now turning away from their natural connection to the sun (yang).
A feminine woman’s true power lies in her ability to embrace the moon, not the sun. It is when she understands that she can create everything she wants to by leading with trust and intuition - that all things manifest. In that feminine state, she can then attract men in their masculine state and together they can build truly beautiful things in the world. Men talk about the height of feminity as being ‘heaven on earth,’ and they are right. You see, the elders in the tribe come to see the woman and not the other way around.
In greek mythology it’s no accident that the sun god is male, while the moon goddess is female; Helios and Selene respectively.
From woo-woo to science:
How can we bring this into the modern context? For a modern woman to even take one full day in the darkness with no natural or digital light can do wonders for resetting her nervous system. I’ve done this myself, and though it was hard to refrain from the blue light within electronic devices - it was well worth it in the way I felt the following day. In the world of “self-care,” the truest form of that for feminine women is to take a dark day. For men that are in partnership with her, helping facilitate this by taking care of responsibilities for the day and creating an opportunity for true darkness without disturbances will get you the ROI you deeply desire within your relationship and/or family dynamic.
Upon researching for this post, I was able to speak to a fertility doctor and what she had to say was enlightening. She told me that when couples are having a hard time getting pregnant, the very first thing many doctors recommend (before prescribing western medicines or starting the IVF process) is to eliminate light in the bedroom. They are urged to invest in blackout curtains and remove the TV and other electronic devices. Studies show that a percentage of couples do indeed get pregnant after a few months of updating their bedroom.
The proof is in the darkness.
In conclusion:
The power of darkness for female health is one of the most misunderstood concepts in the west. When men and women can understand the beautiful power that exists there and make space to honor and support it - we’ll be one step closer to the balance and harmony we’re looking for.